today’s post is in deep gratitude to Samuel Ace’s I want to start by saying & the voices that read it aloud in its entirety on 10.09.2024 (this takes less than three hours & i highly recommend reading it this way & anyevery other way).
we go to a different part of space, guided by refrain.
we all start by saying, however we do.
we start and stop.
we stay there, saying and not saying.
we lean into our squares, make things, embelish. we listen. we lean back.
we listen in, even closer.
we lean back, all the way.
we get on the floor. we get in the floor.
we stay even longer.
/
inside of we — somewhere suspended between space and earth — i start on the floor and go down and downer. my spirit isn’t low: my body is. i pull sound around me in the form of pages, blankets, colors, loops. i fill a painted page with my own saying, roiling echo:
inside of we keep going, i carve myself the space to move. painting is also moving. writing is also moving. listening is also moving. i think about all the times this year i’ve gotten on camera in pain. i think about the painbody in motion. i think about the heart in pain in motion. i move so later i can drop the sound out and see what moving says. i get curious about my own appearance there. i look for where the pain goes from the floor: up or down or sideways or.
pain goes all ways:
some days moving is slow but long. some days writing leaves a residue:
when i’m lucky enough to be held a way holding feels right, i don’t come back to earth, not for a long time. not until i have to.
